Insomnia

夜裡
三瓶玻璃裝啤酒下肚
依然不明白為什麼最近如此愛喝
看著只有著些許亮度的天花板
精神似乎休息了些
肉體則已攤成一床的雜亂
唯獨睡意沒有到來

閉上眼後
一切並沒有因此暗去
聽著喇叭播送著幾天前衝動買來的旋律
寧靜的房間裡再小聲也聽得清楚
夢醒交錯的狀態
我回到還在外頭喝酒嬉鬧廝混的舊日子
看著他和她在外偷情的光明正大
而我和我的同居快樂的抽著煙
參與著吧裡喧鬧的一切
這些片段輪迴似地重複播放
在每每喝酒失眠的夜裡縈繞著思緒
似曾相似但怎麼也回不去那樣的情緒

幾年以來
許多種種纏繞著我
也許是把舊東西擱在身邊的關係
遲遲無法拋得乾淨
看似美好的事物
卻招來一堆扔不掉的
好似快樂又好似痛苦的過去

About Cats

搬出來三個月了
之前從來沒有和貓相處這麼久的經驗
幫忙出國的室友照料貓的過程
綱開始清貓沙貓屎覺得厭惡
直到後來慢慢感到這群動物的可愛處
也是我第一次有疼愛牠們的感覺

早上起床
他們總睜開黃色大眼睛瞪著我
注視著我的一舉一動
稍微察覺我有移動的跡象
於是乎快速引導我到廚房餵食牠們
有時晚點餵還帶著指責般喵喵叫
是個異常溫柔冷靜的動物

雖然沒有犬類來的傻氣.粗暴和陽光
牠們從不會興奮的歡迎你回家
只會在你開啟外門時
偷偷躲在門旁的鑰匙櫃靜靜地看你
但只要見到你就自以為心安的回去做自己的事情
彷彿客套問候般刻意營造的距離
卻仍默默注意你的一舉一動

牠們看人的眼神像是使著讀心術般
總令人覺得在思考些什麼
偶爾會調皮的亂翻東西破壞家具
卻也無法泯滅自我良心般
稍被發現就會一溜煙地逃去躲起來
但怎麼修理也修理不乖
總是會自己犯錯然後良心作祟把自己嚇得要死

貓會記仇但好像也有些健忘
再使勁的修理過牠們
也總會在寒冷的夜裡窩到你的懷裡取暖
用曖昧撒嬌的眼神要你摸摸牠抱抱牠
直到牠發出咕嚕咕嚕的聲音靜靜的睡去
因此也總會縱容牠們搗蛋的空間

這是我首次和這種高傲的動物相處
和狗大不相同卻惹人疼的貓族

苔記

驟冷的氣溫
換上帽T裹著棉被都還有寒意
乾燥的日子裡多喝了些水和飲料
喉嚨似乎長了些青苔
發出點聲響它們就會發出黏液抗議
姑且再翻回去睡
多了一個在家休息的早上

再起身的時候
好像看到偷窺的陽光露了臉就不見
藍調空蕩的客廳
在煮了些咖啡
播放橘色封皮的Hauschka後
逐漸恢復了一些溫度
抑制不住下午時光的誘惑
和著幾篇小說也嗑掉幾疊煎餅
又讓喉頭的青苔找到藉口蠢蠢欲動

幾通電話僅以簡訊回覆
不大說話的一天
事情似乎也少了一些
繼續去煮些熱水
希望這些不速之客不會想多待幾天

Sometimes

Somtimes
There's a wierd feeling visiting my mind
At the same time, almost devastating my will of life
But no despair would grow through doing houseworks all day
Which indeed helps shape a better environment to keep a living

Somtimes,
Just to light up and take a cigarrette
Breathing in and breathing out
Observing the smoke surrounding under the light balls
To make it better; to move on

Sometimes,
Nothing works but being absent-minded
And let it recover little by little through the passing of time

Sometimes, there's still other sometimes...

Another Return

I can barely describe how much i feel at present
I can only grab a few to put them in lines

And still, i can't get the right sense to express myself
Freely with the language i should be more familiar with in this land

I just came from Hualien yesterday
Thank God giving me three whole wonderful sunny days
While i spared and escape a little bit from my busy and ordinary city self

I'm not saying it's painful to live in a city like this
'coz i'm gradually used to getting along smoothly with it recently
And there's no more excuses to tell after i moved back here one and half a year ago
No more denial and no more resistance of my present life

Today, I got a strengthful contrast in my mind
To depict Hualien with hoping, light, and relaxing words
While i can only thinking about things so gloomy, cloudy, and stressful terms about Taipei
I think it's really hard to switch my senses so fast from Hualien to Taipei
Or more clearly to say holidays and workdays

Life confuses and life hurts
But i guess it's just the way it works much better